Welcome to one of our three "It’s All About You" interviews, designed to help you
live better with psoriasis. Join us as Dr Vickie Dowling, a psychologist and a psoriasis
patient, answers questions on the topic of "Emotional and Social Challenges."
Doctor, sometimes I’m so overcome with feelings of depression, social isolation and
even hopelessness. How can I deal with these feelings?
First of all, recognize that those feelings are normal when you’re suffering from
psoriasis, and to really express those feelings, whether you’re sharing
with friends, or family members. That way you’re not feeling so alone and isolated.
Journaling your feelings and writing about them—that's a very important way to
express yourself, and to get it out so that you’re not bottling it up inside.
Those are great ideas, but I have other negative feelings, too. When I have flare-ups,
I’m frustrated and ashamed about my appearance, and then I get so angry about my
psoriasis. Can you help me cope with these feelings?
It’s really natural to feel shame and anger and frustration when you’re experiencing
the symptoms of psoriasis, especially if you get looks or remarks from others. It’s
important to educate people, and recognize that if you’re feeling angry or ashamed,
that it’s probably a cue that you need to set a boundary, and to assert your needs,
to say this is what I need or say no if it’s something that you don’t want to do.
Those are guidelines that are going to help you feel better when you’re asserting
yourself.
What should I do if I greet someone and I’m uncomfortable shaking hands?
Initiate contact. Look at it as an opportunity to educate others. You can explain to
them that your hand is tender due to your psoriasis, or uncomfortable, and you can
explain to them that it’s not contagious. Be reassuring. You’ll feel more comfortable
and they’ll feel more comfortable.
That brings me to the subject of coworkers. How can I deal with a coworker who seems
to avoid me when I have flare-ups – especially if we use the same equipment at work?
It’s always appropriate to educate them. Let them know it’s not contagious, and
I suggest carrying cards from the National Psoriasis Foundation, and literature.
I myself have psoriasis, and that’s one of the tools that I have found to be very
useful. It’s a very good way to educate people and it makes it easier.
And with friends, how can I make them understand that sometimes I’d rather be home
when I have a flare-up rather than go out?
Ask yourself first if they are aware of your psoriasis. If they are, help to educate
them further and communicate your needs better. If they’re not, consider educating
them and sharing with them. Remember that if you push away your friends, you’re
further isolating yourself. And if you are better able to educate them and share
more honestly where you’re at, they’re going to understand better and be able to
provide better support for you.
Another thing that’s upset me is giving up one of my favorite activities because
of the embarrassment and the problems my psoriasis causes. How can I get past that?
First of all, I would discourage you from giving something up simply due to the
embarrassment. If you give it up, you may be adding fuel to the fire, and actually
getting more angry and frustrated by it. But if you do, in fact, have to give it
up, then it is very important to fill the void, maybe learn something new, have
a friend take you to try something different. It’s really important to focus on
new things and not dwell on the past, but maybe journal a little bit about it so
that you can express it in a positive way instead of hanging onto the anger and
resentment that you might feel having to give up a thing that’s important to you.
You’ve given me lots to think about. What are some resources I can use to get more
information on dealing with my psoriasis?
Go ahead and check out the National Psoriasis Foundation’s Web site at psoriasis.org.
They have lots of materials. Make sure you connect with your family and your friends.
I suggest looking for a therapist. They can be unbiased and give you helpful information.
And I also have a list of resources available.
Thank you for talking to me, Doctor. I look forward to applying the tips you gave
me.